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Submitted on
March 16, 2012
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The moon tonight is, simply, a white note
adrift, spinning. It patiently tracks the breeze
on the edge of genesis, floating in motes

               of static. On the surface, it seems at ease.
               Light filters through oak leaves and coats
               its thrall, the summer heat's slow weave

through the river's margins to the throat
of the sea. Small fish leap up to tease
the moon tonight. Simply, this white note

               rotates its body like thread released
               from reel, alters its position over nodes
               of static on the surface. It seems at ease.

In this version of heaven, the harbor's boats
compose as they do, hulls tucked under lees
near the bluffs' edges, geneses afloat in motes

               of stone. Waves disperse like seedlings
               against the mainstays. Masts stand devoted
               in their thralldom. Heat slowly weaves

the sheaves together, allows them to exude
their grasp of rhythm before Earth's marquise,
The Moon. Tonight is simply a white note,

               sparsely pearled and reticent. It receives
               the key's shift naturally. Sinks into mute
               veils of static on the surface. At ease,

each celestial drifts along its sloped road,
guided by the low sky's gamut of color, chaste
ribbons atop ocean's edge. This genesis, moat

               of stars en route to another night, bequeaths
               nothing. Its body's erosion hastens, is cloaked
               and resigned to thralldom. Sun's heat weaves

the moon and tonight into a single white note
afloat on the edge of dawn's genesis, faded moit
of static. On the surface, it hardly seems at ease
with thralldom, lost forever in heat's slow weave.
Hear me reading this poem:…

In my ongoing experimentation with villanelle, I believe I have created a new variation on the form. I call it the nested villanelle.

There have been several double villanelles written throughout history, where a person simply takes the form and writes two explicit iterations back to back; however, the nested villanelle is different because it takes two villanelles and weaves them together to create a single composition, with the second villanelle being indented to signify the difference between the two.

I have come up with three different variations on my form, but the one I employed here is the fundamental form:

A1                  ___
b                      |
A2                    |
     B1               |
     a                 |
     B2               |
a                      |
b                      |
A1                    |
                 PROPOSITION (i.e. introduction of problem, argument or question)
     b                 |
     a                 |
     B1               |
a                       |
b                       |
A2                     |
     b                  |
     a                  |
     B2                |
a                       |
b                    -----
A1 (a turn, or volta, is placed here)

     b                ___
     a                  |
     B1                |
a                       |
b                       |
A2                     |
     b                  | 
     a                  |
     B2                |
A1                     |
A2                     |
B1                     |
B2.                 -----

The effect of the variation, I think, is unique. The expansion on the initial form allows the poet to greatly extrapolate on rhyme and theme, while keeping the rhythmic, serene quality that is inherent to the villanelle.

I don't believe I've ever seen a variation on the form that bears resemblance to this nested form, and I think it's actually really exciting to say I created a new type! (Though, if I am mistaken and you find a nested villanelle that was created before this one, please let me know!)

The form is pretty difficult to tackle—I've been writing this one on and off over the course of the last three months—but it is highly rewarding and pretty fun, should you attempt it.

I hope you all enjoy and am really eager to hear what everyone thinks! If you have any questions about the variation, please don't hesitate to ask. :)

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Daily Deviation

Given 2012-08-25
Into the Light by ~jswebb Experimenting with fixed forms can be tricky, but ~jswebb has managed to conduct this wonderful experiment worth taking a look at. ( Featured by Beccalicious )
DeriveAnemone Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:clap: That is all.
jswebb Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2014   Writer
Much obliged. :heart:
KyaniteArcher Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I imagine waves rocking a boat back and forth as I read this. :)
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2014
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DailyLitDeviations in a news article that can be found here: dailylitdeviations.deviantart.… Congratulations on your DD!

Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+fav:ing the News Article. Keep writing and keep creating.
CWeebs Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2013  Professional Writer
Again, Justin, this is mighty impressive. The flow and cadence are excellent. There's a musicality to your writing that many poets don't possess. I'm a big fan. I've never tackled a villanelle, let alone created a unique variation of my own, nor would I even know where to begin in attempting such a project. You're a very skilled writer and I enjoy the work you've composed here.

When I have access to a computer that plays sound I'll give it a listen as well and let you know what I think of your work as read aloud. Even written, though, it's a beautiful piece. Thank you for linking me to it.
jswebb Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2013   Writer
Many thanks for the kind words. I appreciate you taking the time to read and offer your kind thoughts.
realARTIZT Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist

I've noticed, well, you must like the 'sound' of words more so than just to read through like most do. You create almost a symphony, each line melodic and meaningful. This was like reading music. It had me going line to line then I realized "hey, this has a pace to keep to". I decided not to push play on the audio file you provided, but I believe I heard it all the same.

Magnificent. -#SayItHere
wilbiepig Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012
You have inspired me to write an anthology consisting only of "nested villanelles."
I have already written two, except my version allows for the reader to read the poem as two separate villanelles or as one nested villanelle.

The non-indented stanzas serve as one villanelle.
The indented stanzas serve as the other.
The poem is written just as yours is written, so that it can be read as one "nested villanelle."

Thank you for creating such a unique form of poetry!
jswebb Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012   Writer
Thank you for reading! It's very exciting to hear you've attempted the form yourself - I'd love to read your pieces. :)
Perahn Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012
Oh, wow. I can't imagine how much work you must have put into this, and yet it all sounds so natural.
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